What Is Prayer?

What is prayer? Understanding the word and the practice made me completely change the way I pray, as well as the way I view prayer.

If you ask ten different people what “prayer” means, you’ll likely hear ten different answers. Some think of it as asking God for help. Others picture a quiet moment of reflection. And many people (even Christians) aren’t always sure how to define it.

So let’s begin with the simplest starting point, the dictionary.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, prayer is:

“An address (such as a petition) to God or a god.”

The Oxford English Dictionary says:

“A solemn request for help or an expression of thanks addressed to God or another deity.”

And the Cambridge Dictionary offers:

“The words that someone says when they speak to God… the act of speaking to God.”

Even these basic definitions reveal two truths:

1. Prayer is communication addressed to God, and

2. Prayer includes requests but is not limited to them.

But Scripture goes deeper, not only defining prayer, but showing its purpose and power.

Before we go any deeper, it’s important to answer a foundational question:

Who is prayer actually for?

According to every major English dictionary, prayer is explicitly defined as words addressed to God or a god, and the Bible affirms the same truth:

prayer is communication directed to God alone.

But if you’ve spent any time around different Christian traditions (especially within Catholic or Orthodox contexts) you’ve likely encountered practices that make this question feel muddy or confusing.

Some Catholics will say things like:

• “We don’t pray to Mary or the saints. We just ask them to pray for us.”

However, many Catholics do use language toward saints that goes well beyond simple intercession and clearly takes the form of direct petition, for example:

• “St. Anthony, help me find what I lost.”

• “St. Jude, grant us hope in our distress.”

• “Holy Mother, be our refuge and assist us in this need.”

• “St. Joseph, protect us and guide our family.”

These statements are structured exactly like prayers in both form and intent, even when someone insists they aren’t “prayers.”

So on one hand, some Catholics say, “We don’t pray to saints,” while on the other hand, actual Catholic devotional language often includes:

• requests

• petitions

• appeals

• and direct address

to beings other than God. This inconsistency understandably creates confusion, at least for me it has.

And then there are people who go even further, trying to redefine prayer altogether by saying things such as:

“To pray is to ask for special favor, not to worship.” Yes, someone recently said this to me.

People who say this typically justify it by arguing:

• “Prayer just means making a request, so you can pray to anyone.”

• “Biblical prayer is only asking, not worship, so asking saints/Mary is not worship, so it’s ok.”

• “If prayer is not worship, then addressing saints is not idolatry.”

• “To ‘pray’ to a saint is just language — not worship — because we’re not treating them as God.”

The problem is that this definition does not match:

1. the dictionary, which ties prayer specifically to God, AND

2. the Bible, which never separates prayer from relationship, worship, dependence, or trust in God.

Scripture never teaches that prayer is only asking.

Prayer includes:

• worship

• thanksgiving

• confession

• lament

• surrender

• listening

• trust

And every single biblical example of prayer is directed to God alone.

That’s why, even though some traditions use the word “pray” very broadly, the biblical and linguistic definition remains unchanged.

Prayer is communication directed to God alone. Because our worship belongs to God alone. Our trust belongs to God alone. Our dependence belongs to God alone. Our ultimate petitions belong to God alone. Prayer, in its truest and most faithful sense, is reserved for Him.

Can We Pray to Jesus? Yes! Absolutely.

Since prayer is communication addressed to God alone, it naturally raises an important question:

Is it appropriate to pray to Jesus?

The biblical answer is yes, because Jesus IS God, and Scripture records believers speaking directly to Him (Acts 7:59), calling on His name in prayer (1 Corinthians 1:2), and bringing their requests to Him the way Paul pleaded with the Lord about his thorn (2 Corinthians 12:8–9).

Praying to Jesus is fully biblical:

1. Jesus affirmed His divine identity.

Jesus receives worship (Matthew 28:9), forgives sins (Mark 2:5–7), and declares the divine name “I AM” (John 8:58).

If prayer belongs to God, and Jesus is God, prayer may be directed to Him.

2. The early church prayed directly to Jesus.

Stephen prayed:

“Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” — Acts 7:59

3. Paul directed his request to Jesus.

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord…” — 2 Corinthians 12:8–9

Christ personally responds: “My grace is sufficient for you.”

4. Christians are identified as people who pray to Jesus.

Believers are described as those

“who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 1:2

5. Jesus invites prayer directly to Himself.

“If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.” — John 14:14

6. Jesus shares the divine nature within the Trinity.

Praying to Jesus is praying to God.

Jesus is not a saint or a created being. He IS God.

Therefore, prayer directed to Jesus is fully appropriate and biblically supported.

Can We Pray to the Holy Spirit? Yes again. A resounding yes.

Because the Holy Spirit is also fully God (equal with the Father and the Son) it is also appropriate to pray to Him. I say "Him" becasue the Holy Spirit is a person. That is another topic for another day. Let me know if you want me to write a blog post about this topic.

Scripture teaches that the Holy Spirit:

• is God (Acts 5:3–4)

• speaks (Acts 13:2)

• intercedes for us (Romans 8:26–27)

• teaches and guides (John 14:26; 16:13)

• can be grieved (Ephesians 4:30)

Throughout Christian history and in Scripture, believers have addressed the Spirit with prayers such as:

• “Come, Holy Spirit.”

• “Teach me.”

• “Guide me.”

• “Fill me.”

• “Help me understand Your Word.”

Because the Spirit is divine, prayer directed to Him is not only allowed; it is appropriate and biblically faithful. Jesus Himself promised His disciples that He would send the Holy Spirit to be with them and in them after His departure. He said:

“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever… the Spirit of truth.” — John 14:16–17

And again:

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things…” — John 14:26

And again:

“It is to your advantage that I go away… if I go, I will send Him to you.” — John 16:7

The Holy Spirit was not an afterthought. He was Jesus’ intentional gift to continue His work in us and through us after His physical departure.

Writing this part brought me to tears. I realized I don’t often direct my prayers to the Holy Spirit anymore. I used to, but somewhere over the years, I stopped.

And reflecting on Jesus’ words “I will send you another Helper”, hit me in a way I can’t fully explain.

It reminded me that the Holy Spirit was specifically sent to us:

• to guide us,

• to teach us,

• to comfort us,

• to empower us,

• and to continue Jesus’ presence with us after His physical body left the earth.

That reminder landed on my heart with so much weight and gratitude. Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit as a gift and we often overlook Him when His whole purpose is to be with us every single step of the way, since Jesus couldn't be anymore. It's literally no different than having God the father or Jesus walking thru life with us, every single breath we take. In every joy and in every hardship, we are NOT alone.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

I’m so thankful for this heavy, holy reminder.

Praying to Jesus vs. Praying through Jesus:

The Bible presents two fully valid ways to pray:

1. Praying directly to Jesus

This emphasizes relationship, worship, mercy, help, and personal connection.

Examples include:

• asking Jesus for help

• crying out in suffering

• thanking Him for salvation

• “Come, Lord Jesus” (Revelation 22:20)

• Stephen’s prayer (Acts 7:59)

2. Praying to the Father through Jesus as Mediator

This reflects Jesus’ role in salvation:

“For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.” — 1 Timothy 2:5

Jesus taught us to pray this way:

“Our Father in heaven…” — Matthew 6:9

This expresses:

• our access to the Father

• our relationship as His children

• our dependence on Christ’s righteousness

• the work of the Holy Spirit in prayer

When should we use each approach? Below are some examples. . .

Direct prayer to Jesus is especially fitting when:

• asking for mercy

• crying out for help

• worshiping Him

• expressing love or devotion

• longing for His return

• thanking Him personally

• 
  

Prayer to the Father through Jesus is especially fitting when:

• interceding for others

• praying corporately

• offering worship

• confessing sin

• giving thanks

• following the pattern of the Lord’s Prayer

Both are always appropriate, neither is wrong. Because we pray to God (Father, Son, or Spirit), through God, empowered by God. This is the beauty of Trinitarian prayer.

The Biblical Definition of Prayer

In the Bible, prayer is personal communication and communion with God. It includes worship, thanksgiving, confession, lament, intercession, requests, and listening.

Consider how Scripture describes prayer:

Prayer as Worship:

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.” — Matthew 6:9

Prayer as Thanksgiving:

“By prayer… with thanksgiving…” — Philippians 4:6

Prayer as Confession:

“I acknowledged my sin to You…” — Psalm 32:5

Prayer as Petition (Asking God):

“Let your requests be made known to God.” — Philippians 4:6

Prayer as Pouring Out Your Heart:

“Pour out your heart before Him…” — Psalm 62:8

Prayer as Listening:

“Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening.” — 1 Samuel 3:9

Prayer is not simply speaking, it is connecting. Prayer is meeting with God.

In the Bible, Jesus tells us HOW to pray. Jesus not only told His followers to pray, He told them how.

Before giving the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus warned against two common mistakes:

1. Praying to impress others:

“Do not be like the hypocrites… they love to stand and pray… to be seen by others.” — Matthew 6:5

2. Praying with empty repetition:

“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases… for they think they will be heard for their many words.” — Matthew 6:7

Then He said, “Pray like this.”

The Lord’s Prayer

“Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.”

— Matthew 6:9–13

This isn’t just a prayer to recite; it’s a framework Jesus gave us for shaping a healthy, balanced prayer life. But it’s also a gift for the moments when our own words simply won’t come. In those seasons, the Lord’s Prayer becomes an anchor. This also reminds me of the promise in Romans 8:26: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness… for we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” When our thoughts are scattered or our hearts are too heavy for words, we can lean on the very words Jesus taught us. Also trusting that the Holy Spirit is praying with us and for us. I find this incredibly comforting.

Why Is Prayer Important?

Prayer matters because:

* It aligns us with God’s will

* It deepens our relationship with Him

* It forms, shapes, and humbles us

* It brings peace

* It strengthens faith

* It invites God into our daily lives

Prayer is like spiritual breathing. Without it, our souls suffocate.

Why Do Some People Say Prayer “Doesn’t Work”?

Usually, I think it is because they equate “prayer” with, getting what they want.

If God doesn’t answer the way they hoped, they assume prayer failed.

But prayer is not:

• a vending machine

• a force to control outcomes

• a guarantee of physical healing

• a way to manipulate God

Prayer is:

• trust

• surrender

• communion

• transformation

• participation in God’s will

The power of prayer is not measured by outcomes, it is measured by intimacy with God.

Let's talk about the "Famous" 2006 STEP Prayer Study: Which claims that prayer “Makes Things Worse”?

In 2006, a major study called the STEP Study (Study of the Therapeutic Effects of Intercessory Prayer) was published in the American Heart Journal.

Link to the study ----> HERE

Three patient groups were compared:

1. Prayed for and told they were prayed for

2. Prayed for but not told

3. Not prayed for

Surprisingly, the group told they were being prayed for had more complications, likely due to anxiety and expectation (“I should do well because people are praying for me”).

This led some headlines to declare:

• “Prayer Makes Things Worse!”

• “Prayer Doesn’t Work!”

But Christian scholars quickly pointed out major flaws.

What follows are Christian responses that addressed THIS EXACT study. They are direct responses to the STEP findings:

Evangelical Response in Christianity Today:

“Prayer Study: Science Can’t Measure God”

Link ---> HERE

Catholic Response in National Catholic Register:

“A New Prayer Study and an Old Error”

Link ---> HERE

Orthodox Commentary (Addressing the Study and Its Premise)

“Why Scientific Studies Cannot Measure Prayer”

Link ---> HERE

Shared Christian Conclusion:

- Prayer is not a scientific variable

- God is not controlled by experiments

- The study measured performance anxiety, not prayer

- Prayer is relational, not mechanical

- Prayer’s purpose is not always physical outcomes

The Physical Posture of Prayer:

Many people picture prayer as folded hands, closed eyes, and bowed heads. These practices are helpful for focus, but did you know that they are actually not the main biblical posture.

Scripture shows a rich variety of expressions:

1. Standing

“The Pharisee stood and prayed…” — Luke 18:11

2. Lifting Hands

“Pray, lifting holy hands.” — 1 Timothy 2:8

3. Kneeling

“He knelt down and prayed.” — Luke 22:41

4. Prostration

“He fell on His face and prayed.” — Matthew 26:39

5. Eyes Open and Lifted

“Jesus lifted up His eyes to heaven…” — John 17:1

6. Sitting

“David sat before the Lord…” — 2 Samuel 7:18

I wondered, what did Jesus do when He prayed???

Jesus prayed:

• standing

• kneeling

• face-down

• with eyes open, lifted toward heaven

He did not primarily pray with folded hands or closed eyes. Those traditions developed later for focus, especially for teaching children. I had wondered about this for years and always thought to myself "I can't recall a single instance in scipture where they folded their hands and closed their eyes". Now I know for certain. So if we are ever in a group prayer setting together, and you happen to see me with my eyes open and looking towards heaven, know that I am not being direspectful, I am looking directly towards God.

Anyhow, prayer is not measured by outcomes. prayer is measured by intimacy. God does not ask us to pray because He needs our words. He asks us to pray because He wants our hearts.

So whether we pray standing, kneeling, sitting, lifting our hands, eyes open, eyes closed, or face-down; prayer is the place where God meets His people. . . . and that alone makes prayer powerful.